Do you ever think about how your kids will remember you when they are all grown up and move away? How they’ll describe you to their children or grandchildren. It might seem strange but I do. Especially during the seasons of life when I feel the most disconnected from my kids.
Lately my work commitments have been heavy, and I’ve been travelling a lot, so the mom guilt has been creeping back into my life. These are the moments when I think about my legacy as a mom, and I remind myself that I chose entrepreneurship to be an example for my kids. To show my daughter that you can have a family & pursue your wildest dreams, and to raise my son with a mindset of equality in a marriage.
I can actually remember the exact moment I started thinking about the kind of mom I wanted to be. I was about 17 years old and watching Oprah after school one day. John F Kennedy Jr was on the couch that day describing his mom, the incomparable Jackie O. He talked about her grace, her kind heart, the way she supported his dad, her ability to balance work & family, and her home cooking. It was obvious that this man respected her as an independent woman, but also adored her as a mom. That conversation has stuck with me over the years, and I’ve tried to use it as a benchmark for mom memories.
I want my kids to remember me as a nurturer. Someone who held them tight when they needed it, was a shoulder to lean on, and spoiled them with their favourite home cooked meals. I also want them to remember me as a woman who was passionate about her work, loved to entertain & socialize, and was always itching for her next travel adventure. I want them to know that I wouldn’t give up being their mom for anything in the world, but I wasn’t just their mom.
Motherhood isn’t my identity, it’s a part of what makes me whole and complete, and I’m okay with my kids knowing that.
Images by: Aziz Dhamani
How do you remember your mom? What is the legacy you want to leave for your kids? I would love to hear your thoughts.